Reflections continued

Well here we are in Matt's Junior year of High School. That was the most trying year of all. It's where will met will, where control was a constant every day struggle, and where we all really learned how far we could push each other! Every day I would hear how he was moving out as soon as he turned 18 and how much he hated living in our house and every one here! I know and it was true, it all stopped two days before he actually turned 18!. His birthday is in June so he was still a minor until after school let out that year. His attendance was horrible, he was constantly tardy, always spending days in In School Suspension, Detention, or Saturday School. He never did get suspended or expelled though. He wasn't a discipline or behavioral problem either from all that I heard from the teachers. The principal, however was a different story. For some reason he doesn't seem to like Matt, but he says differently. But then tell me why did I get calls from teachers and parents of Matt's friends saying, telling, and asking me why I haven't done or when am I going to, or what have I done about this man picking on Matt. Reports from these people tell me that the principal literally stands out in the parking lot after school in the area where Matt and his friends park, and if he sees any of them do the slightest thing wrong or make a mistake he writes them up the next day. One of them had to stop fast one day and a few stones flew up...that kid got detention for wreck less operation in the parking lot. Another kid took the service drive between the high school and elementary school to go pick his little brother up and got detention for that....that was a new rule that was just added that day! Little things that most people would over look, but not this man. Then there was the day that he followed Matt into a class room to see what his shirt said. They can't wear offensive shirts to school and I understand that policy and have always made my kids abide by it even though half the football team or other sports kids can get away with a lot more. I guess the principal thought Matt's shirt had a beer can on it...it didn't and I still don't understand why he thought it did. As he was examining Matt's attire he noticed that Matt had a small (dime sized) hole that the pocket of his jeans showed through, well since they are not allowed to have holes in their jeans he told Matt he would have to change. Matt was not taking PE that semester so had nothing to change into....note: shorts are OK to wear, even cut off shorts or cut off sweat pants, heck he could have even worn boxers! But skin cannot show through a hole in a pair of jeans. Makes a lot of sense doesn't it? (I just love the zero intelligence er I mean tolerance policy). But only the pocket of his pants was showing through the hole. Anyway they said they tried to call me and left a message on the answering machine. I put in writing to call my cell phone during the day as I sleep and I can't hear the home phone from the bedroom. There was no call on my cell phone, they wouldn't let Matt call my cell phone, they wouldn't let him come home to change his pants, and they never attempted to call the five other people I listed as emergency contacts on his medical forms that we have to fill out at the beginning of the year. Instead he was made to sit in the ISS room from 10AM until school let out at 2:50. Missing all of his classes and any work that they did that day. All because of a hole that showed his pocket lining. I was so fuming and had a nice go round with the principal the next day. It got me no where with the man except that he left Matt alone for the rest of the year....it was funny how Matt didn't get in trouble with the principal for the remaining two months! He got into plenty of trouble with us at home though and ended up on probation for six months because of it. It was the last two weeks of school and because of something he did here at home we grounded him from driving his truck to school for one week, but he (and this is where the control issues come in) informed us he was going to drive no matter what we said. He was told that if he drove we would call the Sheriff and report him for unlawful use of a vehicle. His truck is in hubby's name, we pay insurance, etc. Well the next morning he was still mad and decided to drive his truck. I really didn't think he would do that and so I had to carry through with our threat to call the Sheriff. That was the hardest phone call to make...I dialed and hung up three times before I actually talked to anyone. Hubby came home from work early, and we met the deputy at the school to have a talk with Matt. He just sat there and kept saying he couldn't believe I actually did that to him....never understanding that he did it to himself. The deputy was really good with him and told him that we weren't pressing charges but since he was a minor that it had to be reported and that he would have to speak to the judge and the judge would decide what would happen. The judge was really good too and saw right through Matt and told Matt exactly what he thought Matt was thinking! He was right too....so he fined Matt $90.00, put him on probation for 6 months and asked us if it was OK if Matt had driving privileges to and from work or did we want to take him. I was so tempted to say we would take him, but figured that would add fuel to the fire so we let him have driving privileges for work. The judge agreed that that would be best and then told Matt that he doesn't usually see good kids in his courts. He had checked Matt's friends out, talked to teachers and the guidance counselor, and could not believe that a kid like Matt was sitting in front of him and that he didn't expect to ever see him again. the probation officer told him the same thing, as a matter of fact because of his reputation he was completely unsupervised during his probation. He never had to report in to anyone or call the office, they did keep track of his grades and attendance when school started back up though. I don't know if I would do the same thing over again given the chance, but in hind sight I guess I am glad I did as it really let Matt know that even though he would soon be 18 he still had to follow our home rules and listen to us. Two days before his birthday he quit saying that he was moving out and then after his birthday he even told us he knew it was a stupid thing to be saying and he never planned on carrying through with it because he knew that when we said if he left he couldn't come back until he could follow the rules we meant it!

His senior year was basically the same...grades, attendance and just being plain ornery! We got a letter a week from the principal concerning one or all of these things and are saving them to display at his graduation party! We have laughed about this the whole year. He was on the not graduating list for a week until he got his English grade up to passing and that added some pressure, but he made it. The last two weeks of school he got suspended for three days for having a Bic lighter in his pocket. But it all started because someone said they saw him talking on his cell phone. He got called into the office and asked to empty his pockets...no cell phone but he did have a lighter which is an automatic 3 day suspension. When I talked to the principal I asked what this would do to his graduation status since our letter of the week stated that he couldn't miss any more days. He told me that he would make an exception and that Matt would graduate! Now this really gets my gourd because the three years I have had to deal with this man he would never ever consider making any kind of exception for anything! But now he does...maybe since I asked him if he really wanted Matt back for another year changed his mind! Matt also spent the last two days of his high school career in ISS for being tardy. This turned out to be a good thing as then he couldn't get blamed for the many senior pranks that were being played out!
Graduation was Sunday and it went very well. I think every kid that crossed the stage to get their diploma got cheered! The principal didn't like this as it makes the ceremony last longer, but it was so entertaining and I can really understand now when I used to hear the teachers say that they couldn't wait until this class moved on to the next year! All of the kids in that class were just plain ornery! But at least they all kept their clothes on!
That's it for now....so on to the graduation parties!
I wish you all a happy day!