I'm sad today

I'm sad today. Just sad.
For 10 months now we (as a family) have been dealing with health issues with the hubsters Mother. Ten months ago she was admitted into the hospital with a heart condition (A-Fib is what sil's referred to it as...I am not a nurse so I don't understand it all), but I guess she got out of it before she was discharged, but she was put on several new medicines. She just didn't seem to improve much over the next few months, was not very active, could not keep up on house work or regular day to day chores, and wouldn't let us help her either. Everyone tried but the woman cannot throw anything away....I mean not even a newspaper or the ads from them (there might be something in there she wants). As feared, the inevitable happened and she fell and broke her right shoulder. It could have been so much worse, we were lucky. She moved from her house into ours and like I had suspected got lots better before she was allowed to start physical therapy. She was getting her meds on time, at the same time, and the right dosages everyday. At the end of three weeks she was doing much better! Then she went to her youngest daughters house for physical therapy and continued to get better, not only did it help her shoulder but she began walking better, looking better, and feeling better. Her goal was to eventually be able to move back to her house. After 5 months of being cared for she was ready, some of us had our doubts whether she would be successful, we had been noticing short term memory loss and worried that she would not take her meds properly. The family decided to give her a chance anyway. The hubster and I still did not like this but so as not to cause too many problems agreed to it. He and I would still check on her everyday, I would take her to all Dr. visits, run errands, and he would check on her every evening before coming home. The first week went pretty well, I found a few pills on the floor though or one or two on a table by her chair, or maybe one left in the compartment of her pill organizer. This was not good and I pointed it out to her...she always had an expanation and swore that she was taking them right. The following weeks, she just went downhill. Becoming less active and motivated to do things, I was still finding pills laying around or on the floor. At the end of week three at home, I went to pick her up for a Dr.s appointment and she was shaky, breathing heavy, and very wobbly on her feet. She made it through her appointment fine, but got worse in the afternoon. I called one of her daughters and discussed the situation with her, it was decided that I should make an appointment for her to see her regular Dr. the next morning. We did, and he sent her to the hospital for testing, she was admitted with congestive heart failure, but we were told it could have been much worse. The Dr. called me into his office the next day and said that she should not and could not live on her own any longer, the family had to decide "what next". He said she could not be trusted to take her medicine right, that it was obvious from what he was seeing that she had not been taking it right or perhaps not at all. Wow....I did not want to tell her this, but I needed to. I called the hubster and his sister and we all thought it would be best if I told her but they be there...which was fine with me, except I still didn't WANT to do it. We got through it ok...she was very upset with the news and mad at the Dr. for thinking she wasn't taking her meds right when she Knew was! Never mind all the pills I've found in places they shouldn't be! LOL I mentioned this to her and she said "well, Theresa....that only happens when you're around!" LOL...I wonder what happens when I'm not around?!!
She spent from the 12th until the 16th in the hospital and has come to our house. I don't know if this is going to be permanent or temporary. The Dr. said not even assisted living for now. He wants to see if her memory, activity level, and motivation improves. He doesn't think any place would accept her for assisted living right now. She is not happy and wants to just go home. She keeps saying that she is going to try her hardest to take her meds on time and keep them straight and prove that Dr. wrong! I had to remind her twice yesterday afternoon to take a pill before she finally did and then she was reminded three times with in 30 minutes last night that it was time to take night time meds., finally I just took them to her.
I also mentioned to the Dr. that I had noticed a little bit of paranoia when she was at her house. If she couldn't find something she would blame the last person that had visited for either taking it, hiding it or putting it away where it didn't belong. If that didn't work, then she suspected an intruder had come in and done something with it. Sometimes she would say "I just don't know why so and so would do this to me, or I don't know why my kids want to hide my things."

All of this is why I am sad today.